News~

I was thinking of making this into a short series for radio...but I think my laughs probably aren't all that funny to those who don't not only do mathematics, but have my sense of humour AND also spend a significant amount of their spare(and not so spare) time on BBC news(or other newscasting establishment), but let me know if you get something from it; if you know what I mean! ;)



Beep--Beep--Beep--BEEEEEEP

Welcome to News Twiddle with me, Mark Maywords. If you were after the normalised news, divide by the square root of the constant of integration now. Todays top headline: Chocolate...Choco-late

Talks broke down between workers and bosses at Crunchies underground secret lair in Birmingham today over job and condition fears after the hostile invasion, assault and takeover by Arts& yesterday. John DeClub of the chocolatiers working union said workers had been given far too much to chew on and calls on managers to stop taking the biscuits.

And a possible new treatment for game cancer has been announced today by researchers at the University of Knaresborough. Dr. Jean Bouis who heads the study explains how it works:

Vell eets very tres simples you see? Ze Nuero-blastoises have been identified in ze gramial cavity causing ze cancer, we sends in ze nano-charizard but not very effective..., now have come up with  pico-chu. IS super effective!Weaken ze blastoise, fit it in tiny balls and all problems solv-ed! Simples!

And In sports; all players still have their arms and legs despite vigourous attempts to lose them.

Now presenting the weather straight from the Met Office, it' Mike Snow.

Thanks Mark, today's forecast is certaintly brighter than that of yesterday I must say; but there's some typical British weather to look out for over the weekend; with a view to some typical British weather early next week.

That's all from me, Mark Maywords, more state updates in 2πn.